LAWS OF ANIME (page 2)

   

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Special thanks to TAP Anime for continuing and maintaining the ever-growing list of the Laws of Anime.

#25 - Law of Americanthropomorphistic Intellectual Inferiority

    The stupid 'Good Guys' are always big Americans.

    First Corollary -
    The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line Effect)

    Second Corollary -
    The only people who are more stupid than the American translators are the American editors and censors.

#26 - Law of Mandibular Proportionality

    The size of a person's mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking.

#27 - Law of Feline Mutation

    Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:

    1) be female
    2) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation
    3) wear as little clothing as possible, if any

#28 - Law of Conservation of Firepower

    Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used only as a last resort.

#29 - Law of Technological User-Benevolence

    The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.

#30 - Law of Melee Luminescence

    Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for 'good guys' and red for 'bad guys'. This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.

#31 - Law of Non-anthropomorphic Antagonism

    All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.

#32 - Law of Follicular Chroma Variability

    Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation.

#33 - Law of Topological Aerodynamics, First Law of Anime

    Aero-Dynamics *ANY* shape, no matter how convoluted or odd-looking, is automatically aerodynamic.

#34 - Law of Probable Attire

    Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines. Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off somehow. Whenever there is a headwind, a Male characters will invariably wear a long cloak which doesn't hamper movement and billows out dramatically behind him.

    First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability) -
    All anime characters are resistant to extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.

    Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability) -
    Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any form of damage.

    Thrid Corollary -
    No sort of clothing, whether it be a leather body suit or full body armor will in no way encumber its wearer.

#35 - Law of Musical Omnipotence

    Any character capable of musical talent (singing, playing an instrument, etc.) is automatically capable of doing much more "simple" things, like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so on...especially if they have never attempted these things before.

#36 - Law of Quintupular Agglutination

    Also called "The Five-man Rule", when "Good Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic positions, which are:

    1) The Hero/Leader
    2) His Girlfriend
    3) His Best Friend/Rival
    4) A Hulking Brute
    5) A Dwarf/Kid

    Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:

    1) Extreme Coolness
    2) Amazing Intelligence
    3) Incredible Irritation

#37 - Law of Extradimensional Capacitance

    All anime females have an extradimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment's notice.

    First Corollary (The Hammer Rule) -
    The most common item stored is a heavy mallet, which can be used with unerring accuracy on any male who deserves it. Other common items include costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.

#38 - Law of Hydrostatic Emission

    Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the back of the head.

#39 - Law of Chromatic Diversity

    Air can be any color of the viewable spectrum.

#40 - Law of Old man Comic Relief

    One law would be that Comic relief comes in the form of a short bald wise mouthed dirty old man or alien Or the combation of any two of thoughs traits.

    First Corollary -
    If old man is present, and is acting too horny, stupid, etc., there will invariably be an old woman to whap him over the head with a frying pan or something.